Coffee, Heaven talks, and Sunday mornings
Quite often you'll find me early in the morning with my coffee curled up in rocking chair or on the back patio. This morning its the back patio and there is a lovely breeze blowing. The blonde tornado is still snoozing. Its August - I hate August. I sit here talking to heaven filling mom and dad in on life as if they were here with a mug. August starts a whirlwind of memories I still have mixed feelings over. I know we are supposed to be thankful for our trials as they make us stronger. August is my birthday, back to school, the countdown of summer, those final vacations. For me August is death, bad memories and trying to smile through tears for those big moments. It starts the whirlwind reminder of five months of hell. Its been two years but it feels like yesterday. I used to love the time from August to December full of fun, football, and holidays. I read the interview Charlotte Observer did with Ace regarding the death of his daughter. It brought back so many emotions. Life is beyond precious and such a gift. Grief is hell. Simply put. There is no real way to describe it. There is no timeline for it. One day you wake up and think you've got this and there is finally some sunshine in your soul. Then you pass a black durango and it all crashes down. I like my quiet mornings to reflect, think, and find center for the day. The last two years have taught me to speak my peace, find resolution for myself, and just live my life. It is far from easy to do that every day. As the breeze blows I can hear my mama saying "baby girl, we will make it". I cant force or teach people to see the precious gift life is. All I can do is live my life and hope the perspective wears off and impacts someones heart to live differently. Food for thought this morning - you truly never know what those around you are feeling. You cannot fix life for someone else. You can live your life in your lane and find what works for you to live peacefully. That alone could impact someone to live differently. A smile is contagious and that I have learned. Each of us needs our own version of coffee, heaven talks, and Sunday mornings. Find yours.
